mochaandvodka

Stress part 3;

Mid-year intakes are out. I have an offer in a double degree of health science and art, and an offer in a bachelor of management. Both fairly useless degrees when I think of it. 

The only thing is I need to give an answer soon. Hence the stress. 

I feel like everything is falling to shits these days. The only thing I can take comfort in is that my squat weight’s gone up. 

Working to failure;

Considering the industry I’m working in, I think it’s pretty safe to say I spend a lot of time at the gym. I’m not talking 2 or 3 piddly ass hours; light days are 5 to 7, heavy days can be 10 to 12. 

And it’s because of this, because of my job, that I have the privilege to see, hear and work with a lot of dumbfuckingstupid shit. 

“I want to lose weight, but not become huge and put on muscle.”

A painstakingly common line shared amongst woman, big or small, fat or skinny. Lord give me the strength to not drop a dumbbell on my own head and put myself out of my misery. If it was that easy to put on muscle, I’d be out of a job. Do you know how hard it is to gain muscle? There is a very good reason why guys grunt, yell and make crazy sex-god faces when they train. Because to put on muscle mass is mothereffing hard. 

Which brings me to the next sort of stupid shit I deal with fairly regularly. 

Member: I want to put on muscle.

Me: You have to work to failure. *Stacks weight on*

Member: *After X reps* Whew, okay I think that’s enough for me. 

Um no bitch, it’s not.

Working to failure is hard. When you work to failure, you should feel like you’re gonna blow an organ. You want to punch the guy standing next to you. And the guy behind you and the guy in front of you. You feel like you’re going to give birth to your kidney. You feel like you’d rather push out a baby than that last rep. 

When you feel like all those things, then maybe you’re working to failure. Maybe. 

See, unless you’re injecting ‘roids into your system, bodybuilding/body sculpting is a fucking hard sport. 

“I want to lose 10 kilos.”

Seems legit, right? You come to a gym, you work with a trainer, all in attempt to lose weight, correct? No, not when you are 6 feet tall and weigh 65 kilograms. Honey, it’s not a health issue anymore, it’s psychological one. See a doctor because this is out of my area of expertise. I’m a trainer, not a therapist. 

And this is actually a really sensitive issue for me, because the way you look is not necessarily an indication of your health, strength or fitness levels. 

“You’re really small, you don’t look like you lift heavy.” 

I suppose being five feet tall and a girl doesn’t help. However, bitch please. I squat more than half the guys in the room. So stop your kickbacks and curls, walk to the rack, shut up and squat. 

*Please note that I don’t mean to offend anyone who have or might have said/done any of the dumbfuckingstupid shit mentioned in this post. It’s all in good fun. Sort of. 

(But not really)

Work out for the day (chest) is probably not going to happen. Unless I miraculously recover from flu/fatigue/lack of sleep within the next 5 hours. 

Stress part 2;

Trying not to fail chemistry. 

This is something I probably should’ve dropped even before I took it up. 

Loaded on caffeine;

To help me get through my work out, work and studies.